“What?” I said in disbelief, as I began walking toward the coop. A large piece of our metal shed was on the ground, and as I passed by I heard a weak meow. “Cali?” I said, hoping it really was our cat, and not my mind playing tricks on me.

She delicately crawled out from under the metal that had been shielding her from the horrible scene surrounding us. I scooped her up and gently hugged her as she began purring feebly. Her whiskers were singed and she smelled strongly of smoke and rotting flesh. Looking her over, I realized her paws were badly burned.

She would spend the next month in the veterinary clinic, who handled her with such gentle, loving care. They allowed us to visit as often as we wanted, and when the time came to pick her up and bring her back to my parents’ house with us, they told me they were not charging us a penny. Their incredible generosity and understanding in our time of great need will keep me going there faithfully as long as I am living nearby. (Check them out at https://mendocinoanimalhospital.net, shoutout to Dr. Bethany Powers!)

We ended up staying with my parents for about six months. We bought an older travel trailer and lived in that for another five or so months (I even potty trained our daughter in that trailer!). Eventually we got through all the red tape and obtained our building permit.

Fast forward a few years, we are finally in our new home, back on our own property. We even have an addition to the family – Karissa was born in April of 2019. 

Physically, getting back on our feet was tough. Mentally, we are still working on it. Every year around the anniversary of our fire, more fires seem to break out all over California, bringing with them smoke and PTSD. Maybe I always had anxiety on some level, but it was manageable. After our fire, it increased dramatically to the point that I had panic attacks for a while. I felt out of control of every little thing and constantly stressed.

Eventually I learned to control the attacks, and while I haven’t had one in quite some time, my anxiety can still be an issue at times – especially during fire season. I hate that we even have a “fire season.” But I am constantly working on it, and am hopeful that one day it will just be a distant memory.

In Chinese, the word “crisis” consists of two characters – one means danger, the other opportunity. With all danger comes the opportunity to learn and grow. We really can survive a lot more than we realize. Sometimes, it takes having no other choice but to push through for us to fully grasp that concept.

You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.

Bob Marley