I launched Red Quill just over a year ago on October 2, 2020. As I celebrate my first year in business, I spent some time remembering how I’d dreamed of becoming a book editor ever since I was in my early teens, but was terrified to fail (imposter syndrome, anyone?). In the midst of COVID lockdown, I looked at my two young daughters and thought about how I wanted nothing more than for them to grow up and find success. But how could I ask them to do something I wasn’t willing to do myself?

Let’s examine the S word a little closer. Some may think of fame and wealth when they think of success, but I love the way the Unabridged Dictionary of Merriam-Webster defines it: “a succeeding fully or in accordance with one’s desires,” the keyword here being desires. To be successful, you don’t need to have an abundance of money or for everyone to know your name. In fact, this may actually produce the opposite result from what you’d expect. In Justin Bieber’s song, “Lonely,” he discusses how he grew to fame at an early age, but although he’s surrounded by people, he didn’t have many he felt he could actually count on to be there for him on a personal level or truly care for him and his well-being. Is that really success, then? It doesn’t seem that way to me, and it’s certainly not the kind of success I’d want for my daughters.

The true form of success in my opinion is marked by the comfort of affording what you need and a little of what you want, the happiness of feeling fulfilled and enjoying what you do, and the loving bond of true relationships. You don’t need to be rich. You just need to feel fulfilled and have your needs met. Ultimately, your goal should be to do something that makes you happy. Having people around you who support you and care for you is an invaluable treasure. When you are in a valley, they will help encourage you to climb the mountain. Their love will motivate you to continue striving and pushing forward until you transition from surviving to thriving. And if you’re currently struggling, it doesn’t make you a failure—It simply means you are still on your journey to your unique version of success. The only time we fail is when we give up, so keep reaching!

Keep in mind, to get what you want in life, you have to gamble. You have to be vulnerable and take risks. Being comfortable is a natural desire, but you can’t grow if you remain in the confines of your safety bubble. And yes, you might fall in the process, but as an equestrian, one of my favorite sayings is to “get back on the horse.” Take those failures as lessons in what didn’t work. Find your resilience and try again with this new knowledge to back you. Nobody is born an expert in their field. Gold medal olympians, star celebrities, and business moguls all had to develop their knowledge and skills, and they did that through repetition, trial and error, and the willingness to adapt and try again.

My hope is that my daughters see me thriving in my own success and know that they can achieve it as well, however it may look for them. I wasn’t instantly successful and clients didn’t fall in my lap. I had to work for it. In fact, I still do. I had to determine that I was going to reach for and achieve my dreams, fight off the anxiety monster, stand my ground, and display my vulnerability. I had to push forward as these things continued to rear their ugly heads during my journey (and they still sometimes make an uninvited appearance). As the saying goes, “fake it till you make it.” There is truth in that statement! If you tell yourself often enough that you are confident, resilient, and successful, you will soon discover that these things have become true. Keep your positive mindset front and center. Trust yourself, put in the time to learn and develop your skills, and have the confidence that you, too, can be successful.