I jumped from where I was, ran straight to our daughter Ember’s room, and swooped her into my arms. I ran into the living room where Lane was running around, frantically deciding what to take with us. I asked him what I should grab.

Lane stopped briefly, looked at our one-year-old daughter in my arms and said, “You already got it. Go! I’ll be right behind you.”

I swept one last look around the living room and, feeling at a loss, grabbed a giant teddy bear Ember had just received for her birthday. Running out the door and into the smoke, I saw the flames getting closer; now the fire was at the property neighboring Uncle Don’s home. I buckled Ember up in her car seat and called for the dog, who was shaking and did not hesitate to load up into the car. I looked around briefly for our cat, but she was nowhere to be found and the smoke was too thick to keep searching. Looking out towards the horse pasture, I realized I had no way to get them to safety; the horse trailer was ironically full of firewood. I tearfully told my husband if the flames kept coming closer, open the gates and let the horses run free. 

I got in the car with my daughter and our dog, and took off for the neighboring town. While driving, I made one quick call to my mom who sleepily answered, “Hello?” It was only a little after 2:00 a.m.

My response came out of my mouth fast, as though it was all one thought. “Mom, the valley is on fire. I think our house is going to burn down. Can we come stay with you for a while?” After a moment of shocked silence, she responded, “What!? Of course you can! Please drive safely!”

Upon hanging up the phone, I glanced in my rearview mirror and saw my baby girl fast asleep again. I burst into uncontrollable sobs that began deep in my belly. The adrenaline was starting to wear off, and reality of the situation and what it meant was beginning to kick in. Other people were on the road fleeing along with me. We all did a parade of honking horns to alert others who may not have known yet about the fire. Headlights were on but we could barely see in front of us due to the thick smoke. I turned off the car’s air system because it was only bringing in the stench of outside, a smell that still triggers me today.

I finally reached my parents’ home. After initial hugs and tears, I reverted back into a state of shock. I sat in silence on their couch, clutching my daughter safely in my arms and not wanting to let her out of my sight. It was now about 2:40 a.m. and my husband was finally on his way to us. He said it didn’t look good for our home. When he left, the fire was at our neighbor’s property and Uncle Don’s home was already engulfed in the flames. 

Before leaving our home for the last time, Lane had grabbed our computer, bill folders, and almost all of our guns. This was something that, in the moment, made me angry with him. It was so hard for me to leave without him, and these things felt so small and trivial compared to his life. He had also thrown the horses’ gate open as I had asked, and fled without them since he had no way to get them out alone and without a trailer.

Fortunately, as he drove away, he came across a friend who was on his way to ask if we needed any help. Lane and Cole drove back to the house, having to find an alternate route that wasn’t yet blocked off by law enforcement. When they reached our property, the flames were engulfing one of our redwood trees.

They loaded my mini horse into the back of the truck like a dog, and Cole sat on the tailgate and lead my full-sized horse down the road at a trot, while Lane drove slowly. A couple miles down the road, they met up with another friend who had room for one more in her horse trailer. My full-sized horse got loaded up and off they went to the emergency livestock shelter at the fairgrounds.

Meanwhile, I was still sitting in shock at my parents’ house, feeling torn between checking that my horses had settled in okay amongst all the energy and chaos, and being right where I was with my little girl who was sleeping peacefully – naïve and innocent – in my arms. 

What felt like an eternity later, baby Ember and I were finally able to reunite with Lane. I could have sworn that it had been a month since I’d seen him. When we hugged, I could feel my body break down, letting out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Every muscle ached from the stress of the situation, and my eyes burned from exhaustion. 

To be continued…