I had both of my daughters via C-section after my first delivery didn’t go as planned and ended with emergency intervention. This has left a scar on my lower belly, right below all those pregnancy stretch marks that have skewed my tattoo that runs down my ribs and wraps in front of my right hip. My tummy is probably never going to be as thin or flat or firm as it was pre kids. Even now that I am in my mid-thirties, I still have the occasional acne breakout, especially when under deep stress. My fair skin has started to show spots from sun damage without the benefit of being able to tan (I’m either red or white, never bronze). I’m not one of those women who spends tons of money or hours of time on my makeup and hair. It’s not that I don’t look in the mirror and see my flaws, because I do, trust me. But I would rather spend that time with my family and I am learning to also see my strengths, capabilities, and value.

Like everyone, I also feel self-doubt creep in from time to time. I went to college after high school and got my BA in English, hoping to one day become an editor. But then I got cold feet, doubted my skills, knowledge, and abilities, and decided I wouldn’t be able to achieve it, so why bother? I ended up working a variety of other jobs for many years, none of which ever made me feel happy or satisfied.

Finally in 2020, I looked at my two daughters who now learn from me how to define their own self-worth, and I decided it was time to stop telling myself I can’t, and start telling myself I can and I will. It’s all about having a positive mindset. After a few months of preparation and back-office work, I launched my dream via my new business, Red Quill Co LLC. I have poured my blood, sweat, and tears into this business building a fabulous client base, and I am finally happy with my career! When someone asks what I do, I am proud to say, “I’m a book editor!”

Motherhood has become one of my greatest passions and motivations to do better. I have to do better by myself in order to do better by them. I have to set the example, not simply speak empty words. If I tell them they can do anything they want, why would they believe me if I don’t believe it myself? My kids have inspired me to make these changes within myself and redefine my own self-worth. They are the reason I finally put my fear of failure on hold and leapt head-first into pursuing my dream of being an editor. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words.

When I was first considering launching Red Quill, I found myself getting fearful again. One day, I half-jokingly asked Emmy (three years old at the time), “Do you think Mommy can be a boss?” Her simple and honest response reflected the very words that I had spoken to her time and time again. “Yes, Mommy. You can do anything you want! And even if you fall, you just have to get back up and try again.” Hearing my own words uttered back to me, I knew there was no turning back at that point. Sink or swim, I was going to do this. I was going to pursue my dream. And even if I did sink at first, that didn’t mean I couldn’t learn to swim over time.

I want to leave my daughters an even better legacy—one of immovable self-worth. I want them to know they can do anything they set their minds to. They are wonderful and beautiful and kind-hearted, and no one can ever take that away from them. No matter what, I will love them wholeheartedly and unconditionally, forever and for always. I believe in them and I believe in myself. I want them to know that they deserve the best in every aspect of their lives, because they do! We all do.

So get out there and put your money where your mouth is. Take action. Believe in yourself. Imposter syndrome might have you thinking, “What if I fail?” But it’s our job to change our mindset and think, “What if it all works out?” If you try something and it doesn’t go as planned, pivot. Don’t think of it as a failure, but rather a lesson to learn from. Using the information you gained in your lesson, try again in a new way. It is possible. You just have to believe in yourself.

The whole world will tell [your kids] what’s wrong with them—loud and often. Our job is to let our children know what’s right about them.

How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & How to Listen so Kids Will Talk, by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish